Long time since I wrote anything on this blog. So lets me start clearing off the cobwebs and write again eh? Its going to be cuntfest blog post about cunts who have hogged the scandalous limelight so er....be prepared I guess.

Loads of things have happened since the last time I blogged. Babies have been born, people have become parents, I'm starting to clear my off and leave, Ahmad has actually lost weight, Michael Jackson is dead, Liang Po Po had a affair.....so many things have happened, so many things have changed.

So many things has changed, yet something still remains. The dumbness of SAF. Yes yes its probably a old story but the longer you're in the army, the more you start to think "why the fuck is everyone paying so much taxes when it all goes into these regulars pockets?" Now I know I have some regular friends, people like Marcus and Darius Koh(brother of Natalie Koh), but so far, they haven't been brainwashed yet so its not that bad. By brainwash, I mean total annihilation of ALL thought processes in a person, clearing out all his years of education, his parents/guardian painstaking and loving lessons of morals over the years down the drain. That is generally what happens when you stay in the army for too long.

The worst case in point are the warrant officers. Its amazing how most of them think they actually have power and act like they're in charge. You know the irritating kind of person who is asked to implement his bosses ideas but acts like he thought of them in the first place and tries to appear smart but fails miserably. Yes those kind of people. The kind you really feel like punching, and if you can't, just punching the wall beside them would help to ease your anger. After working almost all their life to get where they are, some young 19yo punk goes through 9 months of training and becomes higher ranking than them. Which is kinda sad actually. Some of them know their place, they know that well, they aren't high up so lets not act like that, lets treat everyone nice because I'm in no position not to anyway. Those at least you can sympathize with. After all everyone makes mistakes like signing on in the army as a specialist(sergeants and warrant officers), as long as you acknowledge it and work on redeeming yourself.

Enough of the army though. If you ask me for the most interesting stories I have about my army life, I am sad to say but I have none. Ok maybe some minor interesting stories, but I'll save that for the next entry(whenever that may be).

Anyhow, any one noticed that the past 6months or so has pretty much been scandal after scandal? First Tiger Woods, then John Terry then (C)Ashley Cole Liang Po Po. Let me start by giving my 2 cents worth about the scandal closest to home.

So we start with the overhyped Jack Neo/Liang Po Po/Liang Si Mei scandal. Firstly, all I've got to say about this whole issue is WHAT A LOSER! How many girls did he try to get fresh with? Reportedly about 10. How many did he manage to snag? By his own admission, ONE! That is a mere 10% success rate. Furthermore, the only reason he managed to get that girl is because she's just desperate for some fame and wants to break into the celebrity business. I believe my 50+ old uncle who is a bus driver, is short, fat and in no imaginable way good looking has got a better success rate than Jack. Granted, he hits on women about 30 years plus minus but STILL! It just goes to show that most girls AREN'T that desperate, or maybe, and I think this is the more probable reason, Jack is really not good looking. It says a lot when I think he looks better as Liang Si Mei than when he's himself. However, should this scandal negatively impact him to the point of him deciding to quit the entertainment business and starting on a new career, I would recommend him to sign on as a Warrant Officer. I'm pretty convinced he could make a pretty good warrant officer. Overestimating oneself? Check. Lustful/tiko? Check. Not good looking? Check. Fat and unfit? Check. Has incredibly BAD ideas? Hell yeah(his movies suck. Period).

Oh yea, lets touch a little bit(though I'm pretty sure she'll like to be touched more) on the girl in the midst of the scandal, Wendy. She's the kind of girl that if you meet her in a club and she manages to seduce you and you intend to bring her to a hotel for some fun, but when you see her under better lighting you start to laugh and start feeling her groin area for a penis cause you think its some prank and that she's your friend dressed up as a girl trying to trick you but when you realise she's the real deal, start to feel all sick and queasy like a Iraqi prisoner being made to watch teletubbies. Nuff said.

Next we head on to the John Terry scandal. To summarise for those of you in the dark, John Terry is a Chelsea footballing cunt who slept with his (former)best friend, Wayne Bridge's wife. Which is kinda shitty even for him. I always knew JT was a first class poopface, the snivelling asswipe but this is probably a new low. I mean, its your best friend's wife, the mother of your best friend's kids. Imagine what trauma their kids would suffer when they grow up and know that their mother had sexual relations with someone like him. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me at all if tomorrow there are reports of JT having an affair with his team mate Didier Drogba's dog just so he could brag about fucking a horny bitch in bed. Wouldn't surprise me at all, I would probably just say "Oh, just another usual day of being John Cunterry" and leave it at that.

Is it also any coincidence that his Chelsea team mate, (C)Ashley Cole, one of the greediest footballer around also has been found cheating on his celebrity wife, Cheryl Cole? Just goes to show you what mixing around with people like JT everyday can do to you.

Alright, enough cunts for this post. I'm pretty sick of them. It would be too much to hope that retribution comes to them, cause we know that this world is made up of mostly assholes and that all the fuss made by the public is just another way to cover up their own misdeeds and guilt. For example, a husband who often gambles can now tell his wife that "Hey, at least I'm not Jack Neo" and the wife would forgive him and start thanking her lucky stars that at the very least, she isn't married to a fat, nerdy looking cheating cunt.

Right then, to end off this post on a positive note. Its gonna be the slightly mushy part again so don't read it if you don't want to. Just ignore the paragraph. Anyway, got to say that things with Jacinta is still good, we have definitely come a long way for 2 years, learnt more about each other and still spend quality time. Though NS life does disrupt us sometimes, she has been more than understanding and I thank her for that.

Well thats it I suppose. Hopefully this is the last episode of "The World's Biggest Cunts" I'll have to write about. I'll just end off by giving you this website which was incredibly being advertised on a Taxi---> http://www.catchcheatingspouse.sg/ . Pretty apt for this entry I believe.

Good arse Sunday to you all. I'm doing weekend duty in the Medical Centre and as usual, there's absolutely f*ck all to do in here. And I don't mean it in a bad way, it's actually quite a relaxing way to spend your weekend. Anyway just thought I might update this blog a little. Oh and as I'm feeling in the mood, this entry will be punctuated with several profanities. Blame it on cunts in blue.

For starters I guess I'll just update a little as to what I'm doing nowadays. I've been posted to Chong Pang Medical Centre and I am a 8-5 medic there unless there's duty whereby I'll have to stay in here. Its not that bad, there's TV, internet to use, a heater for the shower, air-condition all around, a gym and swimming pool nearby and quite good food just outside the camp. The working environment ain't that bad either, of course with the exceptions of 1 or 2 assholes who spoil the environment. You're bound to meet one everywhere you go eh? Overall though, its pretty slack in here and I quite enjoy myself here so far.

Anyway I just thought I'll give my input about a certain TV advertisement showing in Singapore. You see, living in Hougang temporarily has forced me to take buses on a very regular basis, as such, watching advertisements on TV mobile has become somewhat of a norm for me.

The first advertisement I would draw you attention to is the new Vitagen advertisement starring Felicia Chin. Now I am not sure if it is only shown on TV mobile or if it shown on regular TV as well but for the uninitiated, its about people who drink Vitagen and how to spot them. In several different settings, we are shown sleepy and lifeless people going about their everyday lives. They obviously are not Vitagen drinkers. Then suddenly, Lo and Behold, we see a perky, sprightly guy who is the centre of attention and ta-da! we have found our Vitagen drinker! Looks like a pretty much normal though inexcusably lame advertisement right? That's what you would think but if you notice, just after the Vitagen drinker is found, it cuts back to Felicia Chin, dressed in a low cut dress, who is inexplicably bending down, thus showing 2 other things that are quite perky and sprightly. Certainly they were the centre of attention as well.

The question I have would be, why didn't they just cut to the aforementioned scene with Felicia and her 2 good friends instead of wasting money on the redundant scenes before that. After all, it is quite obvious that the producers or director of the advertisement was using Felicia's sex factor to sell a wholesome family product like Vitagen. There's no other way to explain why Felicia would be bending down. She wasn't even holding a Vitagen bottle for f*ck's sake!

Moral of the story? Sex sells so don't bother about trying anything else.

Next up, just something random I heard on the radio not too far back. It was a advertisement on Power 98 and they were advertising for some Army open house or roadshow or something to that effect. Apart from the usual "come join us for games and fun" and "know more about the army", what made my stomach swell with disgust to the point of collapsing into itself, was their loud proclamation of "come and let your taste buds enjoy a sampling of our sumptuous combat rations". Er....what the f*ck? The words "enjoy", "sumptuous" and "combat rations" should NEVER be used together in a sentence. Ask any army personnel what they think of combat rations and do not be surprised if "despair", "darkness", "spawn of hell" and "offspring of a mutated ostrich and madonna" crops up. Or words to that effect at least. How low can they go in trying to promote the army? To actually have combat rations as one of their highlights shows an utter lack of thinking and pure stupidity on their part. Typical I guess, of the SAF.

Away from Singapore now and into the land of silliness, Rihanna is about the marry Chris Brown, the man who attacked her. Now I'm not sure why he did such an act but seeing as how shallow and foolish and utterly talentless Rihanna is, it would not be hard pressed to find the reason.

Chris Brown: Er...honey, listen, would you mar...
Rihanna: Baby? Cause in the dark, you can't see shiny cars..
Brown: What the hell? Give me a moment baby, just listen and stop singing for awhile. I wan..
R: And that's when you need it there, with you I'll always share
B: ??? You're not making any sense hon, listen will you marry me?
R: Now that it's raining more than ever, know that we'll still have each other
B: So is it yes or no?
R: You can stand under my umbrella
B: WTF!?! You're pissing me off, you're not even listening. Is it YES OR NO?
R: Ella ella ella
B: *punch*
R: eh eh eh

Brown should realise his beloved Rihanna is probably deaf which is the reason for the tuneless noise she produces and markets as music to the tone deaf general population.

Its been a long post and I'm going to sleep now. The most popular pastime we medics do on weekend duty is sleep. Before that though, I'll just like to say that my dear and I are still going strong, even though we are each busy with our own stuff, me with my army slacking and her with her university mugging. We still make time for each other even though we don't have as much time to go out with each other. I know its not easy and sometimes the stress will get to us but dear, I'll still be by your side whatever comes along ok? Some strong bonds and strong feelings will just last forever.

Alrighty then, ciao for now. Till the next time I update, drink less and eat more!

She's still the queen of all I've seen
And every song and city far and near
Heaven help me mademoiselle
She plays the piano for all the world to hear

First of all, Happy New Year(due to the timing of this entry, it is entirely up to you to decide if its Happy Chinese New Year or just a regular New Year) to one and all. Its been a crazy, unpredictable, roller coaster kind of year for everyone I'm sure. Well, we can all look forward to the year 2009 now, hoping that this year will bring us more smiles and less tears(hopefully).

Right ho. So what am I up to nowadays? Pretty much the same thing. Things are certainly great in combat medic spec course. Its like heaven as compared to SISPEC or BMT. Yes definitely so. The difference between the combat medic specialist course and my previous time in army is really stark. Its like getting beat up in a fight by IP Man and Bruce Lee but after that getting to fight a plush toy teddy bear. Of all the craziest thing, we do have our own admin time here and my course commanders, shocker of shockers, actually keeps their word. And here I was, thinking that the SAF were devoid of all competent or decent army regulars. Apart from that however, in all seriousness, this vocation of medic has got to be one of the most useful vocations of all because I can use the skills and knowledge I learn which can be applied in civilian life.

I just completed my hospital attachment(part of my learning syllabus of combat medic, how bloody cool is that?) to Tan Tock Seng Hospital for 2 days, which apart from seeing several rather cringe worthy things was pretty boring. Cringe worthy things include the extremely painful to watch Urinary catheterization, extremely painful to smell bowel and urinary incontinence and the many injections some patients have to take at one go.

Of course, my good buddy Daniel IVing some unsuspecting mental patient was a sight to behold as well, since as usual, he messed up and ruptured her vein. Well, trust me, mental patient or not, its just plain cruel to have someone like Daniel doing IV on you. Yes, I have been on the recieving end of his IVs during practice sessions every week and he has not managed to succeed on even 1, causing me immense pain in the process, I might add. Oh yes, one of the drawbacks of this medic course is the weekly IV sessions which are generally painful, bloody and full of sore arms and tested friendships after everything is done.

Oh yeah, one last thing about the hospital attachment, indeed it was a good experience in hospital nonetheless, especially for the TTSH attachment people who all seem to be enamoured with a NYP nursing student named Carisa Chow. Admittedly, she is sweet looking enough but somehow, the way she sweet talked a uncle, then proceeded to stuff a 20cm catheter down his nose spoilt the sweet angelic image the other attachees project her to be. By the way, the poor uncle was so shell shocked that he just stood there staring into space for a good 3 minutes. I imagine it IS the natural response when someone just stuffed 20cm of plastic tube into your nose.

Anyway, I am sitting here on my roller chair which is serving as my current mode of transport around the house right now. Why is that you may wonder. Well, playing soccer has certain dangers to it and injuries are frequent amongst players. I have been pretty lucky for 20+ years of my life in never having sustained a very serious injury from soccer and indeed this trend has continued. You see, instead of maybe breaking my ankle, I have merely sprained it, albeit badly, but the damage is not that bad. Of course I can't walk for this period of time since I can't exert too much weight on it. What irks me however, is that I will not be able to play anymore soccer for a certain period of time, which I estimate to be about 2 weeks. It really is a bitch having to do things on one leg though.

Ok while it has been a long post, I'll like to end this post off by saying Happy 14th Months to my dear! Yes, in a blink of an eye its been 14th months and we are still going strong, despite my recent moodiness. Thanks for being patient and always being there for me ok dear? I know school will take most of your time but we'll still try to make time for each other, that I promise you!

So with that, I bid you adieu till the next time. Whenever that may be.

I know it's been very long since I updated, but that's because the soul eating organisation of Singapore or more commonly known as the SAF has been using up my precious time and limited energy.

Finally I'm done with BSLC, short for Basic Section Leader Course. It's part of SISPEC, which is short for Some Incredibly Stupid People Expecting Conformity. My rank has risen to a Corporal, which is not TOO bad, considering that some people take almost all of their 2 years in NS to be promoted to a Corporal. The training is not that tough physically, but it is a constant mental challenge to keep your mind active when all you're doing is sitting down in either a training shed or a lecture hall waiting for large periods of time.

I got to admit, being in SISPEC made me lose what little desire I had in serving NS, seeing how the people in charge conduct themselves, how job weary they seem, how they make empty promises and how poorly they try to motivate us. It is quite worrying to know that if Singapore ever went to war, the army will be led and supposedly galvanized by these kind of "commanders" who can barely inspire a cow to moo. The simple fact remains that those in charge in the SAF lead not because they can, but because they have a rank on their shoulder.


Enough of ranting though. I am out of SISPEC after all and having a MUCH better life training to be a Medic Specialist. Things there are much better and I am actually learning a real skill, which I can use in the outside world.

Anyway, there is something which I've got my eye on recently, but for the lack of finances have restricted myself. The first of which is none other than the game RED ALERT 3! The game series Red Alert has all along been my childhood game, all the way when it first came out and my uncle bought the original Red Alert game for me to play on my Windows 98(or is it 95?), to Red Alert 2, where I spent majority of my upper Secondary School days playing it. It is probably one of the first ever, if not first computer game I've ever played. Honestly though, it is probably too early to buy the game now, shall wait for the price to drop before doing anything.

Time passes so fast, in a blink of an eye and its one year to the day Dear and I got attached. Well, it has been a wonderful 1 year together and there will be many more to come. Thanks for everything dear and your present was wonderful and lovely!

Are you tired of the hustle and bustle of city life? Is life in the heart of Singapore a tad too hectic for your liking? Ever dreamt of taking the time off to go to a place of nature, where you can reconnect to you inner self? Think you're getting too fat sitting on the office chair day in and day out while snacking on things you bought at 7-11? Trying hard to lose weight but can never seem to find it in you to do it and you want a cheap way to do so?

If you have recently been asking yourself these questions or have answered yes to any of the above questions, I have one answer for you: You're living a luxurious life you jackhole!

10 days break. And I'm halfway through, damn.

Man, I haven't touched this blog for goodness knows how long. I kinda lost the feel of this whole blogger layout. Reason for this long absence, I guess all of you should know already. NS- National Service/Nasty Shit. I've just completed the very 1st phase of what should be a long and laborious 1year 10 months, the BMT phase in Tekong, where I went in as a recruit and have passed out as a private. For those of you unfamiliar with the army jargon, that is in civilian terms, the equivalent to being upgraded from a toilet cleaner to a toilet cleaner in sunglasses, it just doesn't make much of a difference.

So what of NS? While it may not be as tough as before, the fact remains that National Service is as disorganised as items in a 1980s provision shop. It does not promote thinking or lets you use your brains in any capacity whatsoever. Freedom is minimal, all one has to do to thrive in NS is behave like a dog. Follow orders of your superior(whatever he says, just do it), suck up to him and be friendly to all around you. Which kinda explains why I don't excel in NS life. Apart from making good friends, I don't really have any other notable achievements in NS. My physical training is below average, I absolutely loathed field camp and you'd trust Dick Cheney more with a rifle than you would with me. A lot of the things in NS makes no sense, which is probably the main reason why I do not bother putting in my 100%. Several of the illogical things in NS include:

1)Digging of shell scrape. A shell scrape was only useful for the Vietnam war, a war which happened more than a decade ago. In modern times, with such sophisicated weapons and equipment, a shell scrape can offer you as much protection as your blanket.

2)Standing by area/bed. We do not get ANY free time at all because most of the time, we will have to be cleaning the whole company area, just because our commanders want to see that we're living in a clean environment. Now I'll fully understand if it were held once a week, but to have it almost twice in a day is unbelievably stupid. There will be NO stand by area which can meet the standards that they're looking for simply because Tekong is just plain dusty and dirty.

3)Basic Close Combat Training(BCCT). I admit the first few exercises of this training can be quite useful as it teaches you how to fight hand to hand. The last few exercises however, where we were taught to fight with a SAR21 was ridiculously pointless. Firstly, the weight of the SAR21 is considerable and having to lift up the weapon itself is a chore, much less to say swinging it. The range of the rifle in close combat is also negligible. In short, close combat fighting should not be done with a SAR21 as it has the same amount of effectiveness as a soldier squatting down and closing his eyes while praying for the enemy to spontaneously combust.


4)SAR21 was designed only for right-handers. I think this is self explanatorily dumb so I won't bother to explain.

There are obviously more illogical things in the NS which I won't go into detail about as it would take too much time. Suffice it to say that the organisational skills of the people there are horrible, the information flow is very poor and most of the medical officers in Tekong deserve to be injected with my cat's poo.

It has been a long entry so far but I'll just like to say that things would have been a lot harder for me in NS if I did not have the support of my wonderful family and my dear! Its been a wonderful 9 months+ with her, coming to 10 months soon and things are still going strong between us. Hearing her voice every night while in Tekong temporarily brought me back to the sweet old times and constantly thinking of her kept me going throughout BMT. So thanks a lot dear, for your support and love!

And with that, I bid you all adieu till the next entry.

It's been quite sometime since I last updated. And it will be quite sometime before I next update. Why? The reason is simple. This coming Thursday, on the 10th of July, I'll lose my freedom to my country, serving the nation in what we Singaporeans know as National Service.

Am I ready? I think so.
Physically ready? Maybe.
Mentally ready? My mind ain't weak so yea.
Emotionally ready? Not too sure. See, it all boils down to my enlistment date coinciding with dear's birthday. So being the softhearted kind of girl, dear will surely cry when she sends me off to Tekong and that is never a nice sight.

Away from that, I've long quit my job at Singapore Exhibition Services(SES), straight after the CommunicAsia event, which was widely covered in most media. Enjoyed my stint in the company, bar a few moments but every job has their rough patches. I also went on a trip with my Parents and Dear to Redang, it was really great, the scenery was great, the water was clear and the sand smooth. The stars under the clear night sky are countless, as are the fishes that swim near you when you go snorkeling. Drinking coconuts and ice-blended drinks by the beachside and just relaxing is just awesome. Having Dear beside me to enjoy this just makes this holiday, the first I've had in many years, one of the best.

Alright, I believe it is time for me to start packing for the Army. Take care everybody, I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Hopefully fitter and leaner. Yeah, I'll be bald too. So see you all in 2 weeks time!

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

A short post so here goes.

Ok, so it's another month, the month of June which awaits us. What lies in store for me in the month of June? Well, for one, Ahmad "pepe" Farid is going to NS this coming Friday. Yes, its such a short period of time, which makes me realise that soon, I'll be the one going into NS before I know it.

Alright the next part is for my Dear, so if you don't like to read sappy stuff, then just skip the whole part.

Anyway, today being the 1st of the month, meant that Dear and I "celebrated" our 6 wonderful months together. Right, so 6 months might not seem like much to celebrate, but when its with someone as wonderful as Dear, then its a whole different thing altogether because every single day I'm with her is a blessing. Her warmth, sincerity, care and love just serves to remind me that I'm one lucky chap. Our relationship is still running strong and like a long never ending road, it's strength will never decrease. Anyway, Dear made a knitted bolster cover for me, complete with a little bolster so I could hold it to sleep every night I can't hold her to sleep(metaphorically speaking). In return, I surprise Dear with a pair of Charles and Keith's shoe which she had her eye on. Pictures of the shoe and the bolster can be found at Dear's blog in my link section. Also, went to the bird park with Dear on Saturday, though the weather was less than ideal. Had fun there and even saw a penguin pooping in the water (before you chide me for putting pooping penguins as an attraction, let me ask you this, have you seen a penguin poop before?)

Alright then, that's it for this post, more the next time. Happy 6th months dear!

Just a note of interest, does anyone know why they call it the birds and the bees? What's the damn link???


it's hard to keep you away from me