A man went to see a psychiatrist.....

Says life is harsh and cruel
Says future is vague and uncertain
Feels all alone and depressed in this threatening world

Doctor's says

Treatment is simple
World's funniest clown Pacialigi is in town
Go see his show, that'll cheer you up


Man bursts into tears
Says but doctor, I AM Pacialigi.......

Its almost time.....

The past weekend was spent working at escape theme park as a mingler/scarer. Since halloween is coming soon, escape had halloween as its theme this past weekend and thanks to Ping Shen, Ben, Joe and myself got a temporary job there. Our job was simple. Very simple in fact. Dress like a zombie(face make-up, torn clothes etc.), then walk around scaring/amusing/taking pictures with the crowd. 2 times a night we'll have a parade where we walk from escape to the D'marquee. Most of the time though, we can sit around in the changing room, going out only 15minutes before the parade begins to mingle with the crowd. Its really easy money and its kinda fun.

I'm too tired today to really elaborate on it so i'll just write what I felt was the "highlight" of each of the 3 days. Actually its mostly about girls. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a flirt. I'm just a guy.

1st day was tiring cause we came straight from work, we were late, it was rushed and we kinda pressured. But anyways, 1st day was quite quiet. Not much crowd, but there was this group of cosplayers who turned up. Mostly girls, and I think they thought we were cosplaying too, cause they were quite impressed with our make up etc, so they started talking to us. There was this girl however, who wore a girl devil costume(?) who seemed to be very interested in talking to me. I mean she literally ran after me just say hello and introduce herself and tell me in the process she was dressed as a character who seduced men. Whether there was a hidden message behind that I'll rather not know, but if there was, then too bad for her. She was quite pretty(and dressed sexily too!) actually, but just that I'm going to close all other paths this time except for the path I want. Its a big gamble but I've always been a gambler who loves the thrill of uncertainty and risk.

Well, for the record, she seemed to follow me around after that, and managed to come and say hello to me 5 more times.

2nd day though more crowded than the first, was easier for us, as we had experience and this time we did not need to go to people and scare them, they would come to us. Well, the only thing for this 2nd day was this drop-dead stunningly gorgeous japanese girl whom took a picture with me ben and joe. Fukin' hell......thats all I can say. Fukin' hell........

3rd day was pretty much like the 2nd day, only that it rained before hand and things were pretty much more slack. Hmm, actually the highlight of this day was the Chinese Palmistry and Indian Fortune Telling booth which we visited. Since we're staff, we got to use the service for free. Well, I don't believe in such things at all but it was fun to hear it nonetheless. Anyway here are the results:

For the chinese palmistry, she said I had unique palm lines, a double lifeline, meaning that I wasn't supposed to be born but I survived(aren't you all glad) and this shows that I have a strong soul/character. She also said that there will people who try to backstab or make me their enemy but I'll survive their attacks cause I'm just too fucking mint. Oh and I must try to marry around 30, and that I'm super stingy with my money.

For the indian fortune telling, the indian guy had a small and cute parrot who would pick a card out once he said our name and he'll tell our fortune from the card. He basically said that I'll be successful and that I'll succeed all by myself without anyone's help. He also said that I'll have enemies(wow I'm a figure of hatred huh?) but I need not worry about them cause they'll eventually destroy themselves without me doing anything. So anyone want to be my enemy now? Oh and he said that a female will give me money soon. Yeah, I know that's true. 2 more days the female accountant in my company will pass me the cheque for pay day!

Now, I don't believe in all these but I feel that we can use them for motivational purposes. Why not believe the positive? That'll motivate you won't it? Hahaha and they're also like warning signs. For example, the palmistry woman told joe to be careful of traffic cause the lines show he is susceptible to road accidents. Yeah, good advice ain't it? Be careful on the road. For ben, she told him his health won't be so good in the future so he must work out more. Wow, isn't that just the perfect inspiration for him to start excercising now and get into shape? So yeah, these things might not be true, but if you choose to take the positive things they say and use it to your advantage then everyone's happier.

Well then I'll end here, I'm so tired my eyes are barely open(and I still have 4 hours of work). So if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go sleep at the 5th floor staircase of the building now.

A short post.

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/307150/1/.html

"......"Nominated MP Siew Kum Hong submitting a much-publicised petition to repeal Section 377A of the Penal Code that criminalises sex between men. Over the past days, activists have called for the abolishment of Section 377A, which they deem as discriminatory............."

I read the whole article in the link and the only thing I can think about is how so very very very very wrong the word "Penal" sounds, especially when used in this issue.


Yeah you get what I mean.......

Her fingers twitch uncertainly, her palms are sweaty as she casts a few expectant glances around her. She could sense it, it was coming, her greatest prize. But where would it come from? That she knew not but still she waits, calmly, maybe slightly impatiently,to claim it.

THERE! She has spotted it. An opening! Her spine tingles as she eyes her prize greedily. Ooohhh, it was almost hers, she could smell it. Slowly, she edges closer to her prize, circling around it protectively, not unlike a mother protecting her newborn. A sudden movement beside her startles her. She spots yet another like her, whose attention was fixed on the prize in front of both their ravenous eyes. Anxious that someone might snatch it away from her, she hisses a and glares menacingly at her naive rival. A warning, a message to that poor being to back off for it was hers. It works. Her glare, so intense and intimidating, sending shivers down the spine of her rival and he retreats with a slight yelp and a longing look at what could never be his.

Satisfied now, she bides her time, counting down to the time when she can claim her prize. After what seems like an eternity, the doors open, the magical words are spoken, the way is clear and she proudly and gladly claims the prize.

Her greatest prize, her treasure, her love............. A seat on the MRT!

.................

That was just an observation in the MRT yesterday morning coupled with my imagination. The train was going from Woodlands to Admiralty and this 40 year + typical high class auntie was literally skulking around for a seat. The way she moved her eyes, left and right, her quick movement once she saw a prospective seat. Kinda reminded me of a vulture. You know the picture of a vulture looking auntie with a handbag and umbrella wearing a white pearl necklace and with thick glasses. Can you imagine it? Like a cartoon she was.

Anyway away from that, I've finished filling in 8 weeks of my log book in around 8 hours yesterday. Of course thats not the actual amount of the time I spent writing it, cause I get easily distracted by the computer in front of me. Oh I forgot to mention I wrote the log book during work. So yeah, I had to juggle writing a log book, doing work and surfing the net, thus taking a longer time than expected with the log book. But its finally done! Thank goodness, it was quite a chore to make every little thing I had to do during the past few weeks seem like monumental earth changing live saving tasks. But then again, I am quite good at bullshitting. Yes, very good indeed. You'd probably know that by now if you're reading this.

Right, so 2 major sporting events just ended the last weekend. The Finals of the Rugby World Cup and the conclusion of the F1 race. For those of you expecting me, a soccer fan, to have stated the Merseyside derby between Liverpool and Everton as 1 of those major sporting events, I'm sorry, but I just don't consider 2 mid-table mediocre clubs playing soccer as major.

The results of the F1 were certainly surprising, but deserved nonetheless. The hot favourites Lewis Hamilton and to a certain extent Fernando Alonso, both from Mclaren, both with a deep dislike of each other, both beaten by Kimi Raikkonen of Ferrari. How did it happen? Mainly because Mclaren shot themselves in the foot. Fighting within the team between Alonso and Hamilton contributed to their loss. Despite all the reasons of gearbox failure etc. it was, I felt, eventually down to the lack of cohesion and teamwork which resulted in Mclaren getting nothing but nothing. They coulda wrapped it up way before this race. They could have made it easy for themselves. But jealousy got in the way, greed covered their eyes. And they were made to pay for it. How foolish eh? Money ain't the root of all evil. Greed is. Remember that.

Now on to Rugby. South Africa vs England. I got a feeling England does not know how to appreciate beauty at all. Their football is so boring and so is their rugby play. Kick kick kick their way to victory via the undoubtedly talented Wilkinson seems to be their only tatic. South Africa, known for their speed had no choice but to comply to England's ugly approach. The net result? A game with 0 tries. Ze the fukin ro. A final! Last world cup final was so much more entertaining. In fact I've seen club games with better play and more entertainment. I think its just in their veins, the English value results above entertainment. Result oriented people they are. Which makes me, a fan of both Rugby and Soccer, cringe whenever either England team plays. In fact I'd much rather watch plants photosynthesise than watch England matches, especially their soccer matches. But oh well, whatever floats their boats I suppose.

Alright I shall end here. I still have some work left to do and its getting closer to 6 so yeah, wish you all happy working or happy whatever you're doing.

Oh yea just a side note, apparently Albus Dumbledore is gay. Am I shocked? Yes, yes I am. But then again, thinking back and putting the pieces together, it does fit in with what she says.

After all, why in the world would ANY MALE pay more attention to Harry when there's Hermione(Emma Watson =D) around???

"True perfection has to be imperfect
I know that it sounds foolish but its true"

"Perfection". We all know, nobody and nothing is perfect. But I gotta say, some things come pretty damned close to being perfect. Allow me to elaborate more.

Hit the gym on Monday again. Now anybody who ever went to a gym will know that the ratio of male to female would be around, say 7:1? Do not be decieved those advertisements and TV shows where you see some pretty young thing using the treadmill and acting all dainty when the gorgeous hunk goes to flirt with her. The reality of it all, sad though it may be, is that the Gym is dominated by guys, and the girls who use the gym are usually those whom you can see really really need to use it. So it was a pleasant surprise to see this sexy woman in the gym. I couldn't really define if she was pretty or not, but her body looked to be fit and sexy, the kind of body you would see in a California Fitness advertisement.

But you know what I found near perfect about her? Her butt. Yes, her butt, in my opinion, was the perfect butt. You see, I was walking out of the gym when she suddenly appeared from nowhere and walked in front of me....... Now I'm not some pervert who goes around checking out girl's asses but this time I just couldn't help noticing her butt. It was just there, swaying in front of me, and in my mind I went "WOW". Cause she had the best ass I had ever seen. Perfectly trained gluteals. One can only imagine the amount of dieting and exercising she has to go through to maintain that body and butt. Congratulations and well done to her, she has succeeded in taking over as the number 1 butt in NT's hall of fame. The last winner was from 4 years ago when I was shopping at NTUC and saw this ang-moh girl with a sexy butt wearing short shorts with the word "perfect" written on the back of her shorts(which I couldn't help but agree with). But now, ladies and gentlemen, we have a new winner. And its about time too.

Now, I know this may have potrayed me as a pervert, or a ass-man(a guy with a fetish for asses). But all guys are like that, just that sometimes they don't have the guts to say it out so you don't know. And I'm not an ass-man. I'm a face man. What does that mean? It just means that the most important physical characteristic of a woman I take note of is the face. And don't anyone of you give me any of that pretentious bullshit about noticing a girl for her character. The character is eventually the most important yes, but we all look at the outer appearance first and it WILL play a part when choosing your other half. Just think of it this way, would you rather marry Mother Teresa(assuming she could have been married........and assuming of course, that she's still alive), or marry Shu Qi?

But I digress. So the most important physical characteristic of a girl for me is the face. Other important physical characterstic of a girl which guys are attracted to are the legs, the breasts, the arms, the hair, the armpit hair.....whatever. Me, its if their face is pretty or not. The girl's features, her eyes, her nose, her mouth etc. Strangely though, I find that the perfect face for me, follows closely the first 2 lines of this post. Some imperfection here and there makes the girl all the more attractive to me. I'm truly attracted to the girls, whom you might not feel is very pretty, but they have cute and homely features.

Which brings me to the next point. It was just another Monday, after lunch, while I was taking the bus back from Old Airport Road when 2 sisters and their grandmother got on the bus. At first, what got my attention was the grandmother asking one of the girls(the elder one) to take a seat in a rather loud and animated way. The younger girl, whom I estimate to be around 16 or 17 had already taken a seat just across me and in front of her grandmother. Now I was still interested in the loud way the grandmother was asking the elder girl to sit down but once the novelty wore off, I started to notice the younger sister.

She wasn't the kind of girl you'll stop and stare at cause she wasn't VERY pretty or anything. Yet, somehow she was attractive to me. Her eyes were big and round, I felt her mouth was slightly misshapened, her nose wasn't very sharp but yet, she had that homely quality about her and she was pretty cute overall. While her sister and grandmother was making quite a bit of a racket, she just kept quiet and dainty in her seat. Her look to me, was perfect. She had pretty much the EXACT type of look in a girl I was looking for. I don't know how else to explain it. There was this aura about her which made my heart beat faster, my knees go weak and my head whirl. In fact, I can still remember her face quite clearly even up to now. For those of you not convinced, I can tell you she has replaced JR as the perfect face in the NT hall of fame so congratulations to her. No mean feat I can tell you.

Well anyway its been a long post, and Cindy Soh just sent me an email saying she wants to visit us next Tuesday and she wants to see our log book. Seeing as how I'm still stuck at Week 1, I better get right on it now.

So if you'll excuse me, I have 6 Weeks of my work I need to pen down......

Its another Friday, another week has passed so yay yay hooray la la hola.

I went to the Gym yesterday. The kallang gym run by Singapore Sports Council. I have to say though apparently not very bright, the counter people are very friendly and nice. They are polite, courteous and most accommodating and flexible. The same can't be said for a staff working there. Its the first time after 3 visits that I saw him there, and at first I assumed he was just another gym user like myself. How wrong I was. Let me explain. The whole situation will also show the difference between good and bad service and how it can affect the customers.

Now, the counter people as I've mentioned before are friendly and flexible etc. so they let me in for free since I go to the gym with Poon, who is working at SSC. Which is why I just swaggered into the gym like usual yesterday without paying. Quite suddenly though, while I was walking towards the toilet, that man suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Shocking me in the process I might add. Cause at first I mistook that guy for a badly misshapened dumbbell. You would be shocked too if a badly misshapened dumbbell appeared from nowhere and stood beside you. On closer inspection however, I realised it was actually a human man, though I wasn't sure what he wanted.

Ugly dumbbell looking rude cunt: aIkAdMjAsCfUkNlTo
Me: 'scuse me what?
UDLRC: Aarree yeew orso a memmbeurr?
Me: Erm......
(what?)
Poon: No
UDLRC: Theen yeew go pay
Me: Oh ok
UDLRC: Eh, ______(counter lady's name), he is not member. Make sure he pay.

I was quite pissed off with his bloody rude tone, and he made it seem as if I was just a student who had no money to pay that damned $2:50. But ok, alright, I can live with that. I've gotten used to the fact that cunts are abundant in this wide world. So off I went to pay the $2:50 to the counter lady(whom I must remind again was very friendly). After paying, I went to change and warm up till I was ready to use the gym equipment. But just as I sat down on the seats of one of the machine, I was shocked again, by the appearance of, what I this time percieved to be a oversized wrinkled half-chewed onion. Experience served me well however, and I quickly recognized the half-chewed onion as the same man from just now.

Ugly onion looking rude wanker: Each one must have towel
Me: But I'm sharing the towel with my friend
UOLRW:No sharing of towel
Me:huh? why?
(this has got to be one of the stupdiest rules ever: no sharing of towels? why not? Whats the logic behind making such a rule?)
UOLRW: Gym rule, each one must have personal towels.
Me:Erm....but I don't have a towel
UOLRW: Then go buy from the counter
Me: How much?
UOLRW:aIsMdAjAkShSfHhOiLoEtio
Me:HUH?
UOLRW:one dollar(in a sing-song sacarstic tone)

Wow. The last part really took the cake. I was PISSED. Yes, REALLY REALLY PISSED. But no, thats not the worst part, after I bought the towel from the friendly, polite and smiling counter lady, I saw him talking and joking with other musclemen who did not have their own towel but were using the equipment. Apparently though he saw no need to tell them. So what does that mean?

Is he rude to us cause we're just students working out(for NAPFA) and not some steriod ridden muscle prick working out(cause they have no fucking life and nothing else better to do)? Or does he just have a fetish for musclemen? I do believe however, that the real reason is jealousy. I was just too good looking and just too fucking mint for his gayboyarseface to take. So in an attempt to make himself feel better, he made me pay $1 for a towel. Gosh, that must have made his day.

"YES! Me make hansem guy give $1 to cumpony. I so happy. Me bangs head on dumbbell to celebrate!"

But you know what? Despite feeling disgruntled, angry, pissed, hot under the collar, furious etc. I just could not help but smile at the counter lady on the way out. She was just that nice. You know the feeling when you get so worked up you can't even smile? I was feeling that way at the moment. However, that counter lady gave me such a very sincere warm smile that I just couldn't help but smile back at her. The poisonous thoughts coursing through my mind were suddenly replaced by red roses, blue violets, white lilies and custard puffs.

So you can see the difference between good service and bad service from here. It can make or break your day. If not for that counter lady, I would have left feeling extremely bitter and cranky.

What can we prove from here? That cunts are really abundunt in this world. Luckily though, there are also nice & friendly people out there to make us feel better. So if you ever come across a cunt who makes you unhappy, just find someone friendly to make you happy again.

Don't come to me though. I quite freely admit, I'm a arrogant arsehole.

Well, its been quite some time since I last blogged. Considering that ever since IPP started, I've been churning out on average, 1 blog post every 2-3 days. More out of boredom than anything. Well, if you thought that the "lack" of blog posts/updates were due to some interesting work I have to do in the office, then you couldn't be more wrong. So what then, keeps me from getting too bored?
This is the answer:


Free Cell! & Solitaire('s the only game in town)!

Right....kinda lame huh? Not quite, if you play Free Cell like I do. Cause then it'll be a challenge. If you notice the picture carefully, I arranged the cards in the top right hand corner according to their rank: diamond, club, hearts and spade. Which is not an easy task to do in Free Cell.

Why do I do it? I like it. I find it quite cool to see the cards in running order order. And because I'm weird like that.

Alright, I've downloaded my favourite movie of all time, V for Vendetta last week and I've been watching it during work. Oooooohhh, the movie still retains its charm. I hailed it as one of the best, if not THE best, movie I've ever caught, and my sentiments still remain. The storyline itself is excellent. The acting is great. The soundtrack/music is wonderful. But yeah, hearing me wax lyrical about this movie is no use. You gotta check it out yourself.

In fact watching this movie again had me drawing quite a few parallels to the situation in Myanmmar right now. A military government, strict and total domination. The people being cowered by guns and the soldiers wielding them. But the people should not be afraid of the government. The government should be afraid of the people. And while the whole world expresses outrage at what is going on, little action is being taken to solve it. But well, thats the real world. People only do things if they think they can get something out of it. No one does anything out of pure love, kindness, or even pity. And that's a fact. Live with it.

Something random now. You ever wonder how some people can sleep in the train very soundly, their head drooping and swaying left to right whenever the MRT stops/starts, but yet when they reach their station they manage to wake up? Well, you want to know the answer? Stand in front of a white wall, approximately 5cm away and just stare directly into it. Has the answer come to you yet? No? Well thats because there is no answer(and you would have looked pretty dumb if you tried that out). Its just pure dumb luck and a bit of human body instinct. Especially if its a regular pattern. Like for myself, I always manage to get a corner seat(which you might consider miraculous cos of the morning crowd but I have my methods). I'll then proceed to sleep quite soundly and for no reason I'll just wake up either at City hall or Dhoby Ghaut. Don't ask me how, I told you its just pure instinct/luck. There's no answer for it. Maybe one day we'll know but I doubt that day will ever come.

Told you the last part was random.......

We all love to fall in love. Its been described as the sweetest feeling one could ever feel(how they decided it was sweet and not some other taste is beyond me). But it can hurt too. Thats cause falling in love is the sweetest feeling but falling in love with someone who loves you too is the greatest feeling. Ever. I think. Hahaha, I've never really experienced that before. All this is via hearsay. Why do I bring this up? I really have no bloody idea. Honestly. My train of thought has been disrupted already damn.

Oh well, I think I'll end here for now......

Here's a thought for every man who tries to understand what's in your hands
And as he face the sun he cast no shadow.......